Not always what it's cracked up to be...
Sometimes traveling can be highly overrated. You are "traveling"--constantly on the move--it's hard work. Traveling is not a vacation unless you make it so, and then you're often not traveling. It's a bit of that square/rectangle thing.
I was initially going to update about my time in Chefchaouen and my incredible/crazy day yesterday. But I'll have to hold the "kif" and sandal experience for another entry.
Today I had a bit of a breakdown...though the day started auspiciously enough. I woke up on time, had a great breakfast and took my time getting to the bus station, got a bargain on my taxi but being willing to walk the entire way to the station at 6 a.m. I then got my bus to go to Rabat--what everyone calls an "administrative city" and an example of the real, modern Morocco. It's also a bit of a beach city as I discovered, with people scrapping to get onto bits of sand that are available on the western coast. Because it actually has a growing commercial district and businesses that do not necessarily rely on tourism, there are more fixed prices and less tourist hassle--also fewer tourists, and so, ironically you are all the easier to spot as one, and to pinpoint in instances where there is someone to hassle you. But I digress.
Yes, I had a bit of a breakdown. The thing with traveling alone in general is that you cannot trust people--add a pound of paranoia to my regular daily paranoia. Sure, I do take some (somewhat risky) chances and gauge people--trust some, don't trust others when traveling...at least mildly. In Europe and most of my other travels it has been very easy and intuitive to do that. But here, in Morocco, my intuition is all screwed up with the knowledge of the multifarious scams and people who are willing to go through all sorts of forms of self-abasement (at least morally) to reel you in and screw you. Today I was hassled by at least 10 people who came up to me and asked me if I was traveling alone, who wanted to do henna for me ("free! free!")...who wanted to guide me around ("out of kindess, not for money!")...
Most of these people were men, or in the cases of the henna people women that were easy to spot. It's also key to remember the huge amount of unemployment (I believe it's almost 20% or more, as well as the huge illiteracy in the country--70%--though Moroccans are quite gifted at languages. In any case, the last person I just spoke with me broke the (if you'll allow me this cliche) camel's back. I had just been hassled by some guy here, and this kind woman turned around. She was walking with another man, her friend. I asked her for directions and smiled (I've tried weaning myself off this, and I'm usually quite good at poker facing everyone, including even children!...but most women don't tend to be scam artists, or I haven't heard of one yet). The woman said she was going in the same direction as me and asked me about where I was from and stuff. Now, the thing is, as soon as people here hear USA, dollar signs often flash into their heads (Disclaimer: Not referring to all Moroccans, but a vast majority.) I've a number of different stories I tell people depending on how good my French accent is that day, how tan I've become, what they initially guess and who they are (for example, I usually reserve "the truth" for the police and other offials who could easily request my passport for something). Anyway, as I was saying, she found out I was traveling alone (this time I told her the truth, usually I am meeting friends, distant relatives, or others somewhere in town). After she found that out she invited me to her home for dinner with her family. Apparently she is married to a Christian guy from Martinique, so she is now no longer Muslim but Christian. I told her I currently wasn't really practicing anything, but believed in G-d...(technically true).
So she invites me for dinner with her family (which happens often with plain kindness and hospitality here to people), and that's it, for a while. We're walking along and then I ask her about the beach, and she kind of normally says she could go with me because I was mentioning that it's not easy to go alone when you have a lot of valuables that need to be looked after. Anyway, as we continued walking along she said I could even stay at her place if I wanted. Then we walk some more and she mentions that I should take my camera to the beach to take photos. All the while I start getting this bad feeling. If this woman wanted to steal my belongings or my camera and passport, that'd be walking right into things. Or, she could just be kind and gracious right now. We talk some more and I find out that she's not really with her husband any longer--they're together, but not living together, or some other weird story--oh, and she doesn't live in Rabat, but Sale...which is not far, just like Buda and Pest, but still odd and a trek out from my hostel in Rabat (which is nearly empty and "cell-like"). The woman suggests I just go straight to her place for dinner and then stay over, and tomorrow we go to the beach. I make up an excuse about having to go back to the hostel to pay them still...feeling horrible about my doubts, but still. As we continue walking, she tells me about her job at a textile factory in Rabat and about how little she is paid, and shows me her employment/salary slip. I just feel very odd, and have a bit of that foreboding feeling.
I ask her for an Internet cafe, and she says I could go to her place tomorrow and use the net cafe, and seems a bit hesitant to have me contact my parents (as I was mentioning--and seems to keep the sleezier people away when they know I am in constant contact with home). Anyway, I take her phone number and she kindly wishes me safety, good luck, to take care of myself, and says we'll see each other tomorrow. She asks me where I'm going, and I say I'm going to go back to use this other Internet cafe we'd passed...and that's that. I get a little choked up walking away because I can't tell any longer whether peoples' intentions are good or bad. Here there are very few tourists (I haven't seen any really)...and it's hard to trust people in general, though fellow tourists are often better. So anyway, here I am, I've made my way back to the net cafe here, or the "cyber" as they call it here. I was yearning for some relief, and I'm listening to some music on my iPod to calm my nerves...I'm a little disappointed this cafe doesn't have Skype, but I suppose I will use it later tonight at another cafe.
Days like this make me yearn for a friendly face and some creature comforts. Traveling like all things can be good and bad, days can be good and bad, and I understand that. I've found that when I'm in doubt, though I may miss out on the best possible of experiences, at least I am not in constant turmoil and have some peace of mind. Perhaps tonight or tomorrow will be better. Onwards and upwards.
I was initially going to update about my time in Chefchaouen and my incredible/crazy day yesterday. But I'll have to hold the "kif" and sandal experience for another entry.
Today I had a bit of a breakdown...though the day started auspiciously enough. I woke up on time, had a great breakfast and took my time getting to the bus station, got a bargain on my taxi but being willing to walk the entire way to the station at 6 a.m. I then got my bus to go to Rabat--what everyone calls an "administrative city" and an example of the real, modern Morocco. It's also a bit of a beach city as I discovered, with people scrapping to get onto bits of sand that are available on the western coast. Because it actually has a growing commercial district and businesses that do not necessarily rely on tourism, there are more fixed prices and less tourist hassle--also fewer tourists, and so, ironically you are all the easier to spot as one, and to pinpoint in instances where there is someone to hassle you. But I digress.
Yes, I had a bit of a breakdown. The thing with traveling alone in general is that you cannot trust people--add a pound of paranoia to my regular daily paranoia. Sure, I do take some (somewhat risky) chances and gauge people--trust some, don't trust others when traveling...at least mildly. In Europe and most of my other travels it has been very easy and intuitive to do that. But here, in Morocco, my intuition is all screwed up with the knowledge of the multifarious scams and people who are willing to go through all sorts of forms of self-abasement (at least morally) to reel you in and screw you. Today I was hassled by at least 10 people who came up to me and asked me if I was traveling alone, who wanted to do henna for me ("free! free!")...who wanted to guide me around ("out of kindess, not for money!")...
Most of these people were men, or in the cases of the henna people women that were easy to spot. It's also key to remember the huge amount of unemployment (I believe it's almost 20% or more, as well as the huge illiteracy in the country--70%--though Moroccans are quite gifted at languages. In any case, the last person I just spoke with me broke the (if you'll allow me this cliche) camel's back. I had just been hassled by some guy here, and this kind woman turned around. She was walking with another man, her friend. I asked her for directions and smiled (I've tried weaning myself off this, and I'm usually quite good at poker facing everyone, including even children!...but most women don't tend to be scam artists, or I haven't heard of one yet). The woman said she was going in the same direction as me and asked me about where I was from and stuff. Now, the thing is, as soon as people here hear USA, dollar signs often flash into their heads (Disclaimer: Not referring to all Moroccans, but a vast majority.) I've a number of different stories I tell people depending on how good my French accent is that day, how tan I've become, what they initially guess and who they are (for example, I usually reserve "the truth" for the police and other offials who could easily request my passport for something). Anyway, as I was saying, she found out I was traveling alone (this time I told her the truth, usually I am meeting friends, distant relatives, or others somewhere in town). After she found that out she invited me to her home for dinner with her family. Apparently she is married to a Christian guy from Martinique, so she is now no longer Muslim but Christian. I told her I currently wasn't really practicing anything, but believed in G-d...(technically true).
So she invites me for dinner with her family (which happens often with plain kindness and hospitality here to people), and that's it, for a while. We're walking along and then I ask her about the beach, and she kind of normally says she could go with me because I was mentioning that it's not easy to go alone when you have a lot of valuables that need to be looked after. Anyway, as we continued walking along she said I could even stay at her place if I wanted. Then we walk some more and she mentions that I should take my camera to the beach to take photos. All the while I start getting this bad feeling. If this woman wanted to steal my belongings or my camera and passport, that'd be walking right into things. Or, she could just be kind and gracious right now. We talk some more and I find out that she's not really with her husband any longer--they're together, but not living together, or some other weird story--oh, and she doesn't live in Rabat, but Sale...which is not far, just like Buda and Pest, but still odd and a trek out from my hostel in Rabat (which is nearly empty and "cell-like"). The woman suggests I just go straight to her place for dinner and then stay over, and tomorrow we go to the beach. I make up an excuse about having to go back to the hostel to pay them still...feeling horrible about my doubts, but still. As we continue walking, she tells me about her job at a textile factory in Rabat and about how little she is paid, and shows me her employment/salary slip. I just feel very odd, and have a bit of that foreboding feeling.
I ask her for an Internet cafe, and she says I could go to her place tomorrow and use the net cafe, and seems a bit hesitant to have me contact my parents (as I was mentioning--and seems to keep the sleezier people away when they know I am in constant contact with home). Anyway, I take her phone number and she kindly wishes me safety, good luck, to take care of myself, and says we'll see each other tomorrow. She asks me where I'm going, and I say I'm going to go back to use this other Internet cafe we'd passed...and that's that. I get a little choked up walking away because I can't tell any longer whether peoples' intentions are good or bad. Here there are very few tourists (I haven't seen any really)...and it's hard to trust people in general, though fellow tourists are often better. So anyway, here I am, I've made my way back to the net cafe here, or the "cyber" as they call it here. I was yearning for some relief, and I'm listening to some music on my iPod to calm my nerves...I'm a little disappointed this cafe doesn't have Skype, but I suppose I will use it later tonight at another cafe.
Days like this make me yearn for a friendly face and some creature comforts. Traveling like all things can be good and bad, days can be good and bad, and I understand that. I've found that when I'm in doubt, though I may miss out on the best possible of experiences, at least I am not in constant turmoil and have some peace of mind. Perhaps tonight or tomorrow will be better. Onwards and upwards.
posted by IJW at 9:45 PM
3 Comments:
When they invite you, they expect whatever/sth. from you....that's the culture. I was often enough there....
al
If you got that sense of foreboding, it's really good to heed it. Traveling anywhere (even one's local area), not to mention such a foreign region, these concerns really can be exhausting..and yeah, it really sucks to not be able to trust anybody you contact. It sounds like you're just momentarily burned out from the negative aspects of traveling alone. Remind yourself of the breathtaking, good moments.
-Amy
Sounds like you are a really smart traveller, so while it sucks that you do not know who to trust and that you miss your loved ones, be glad that you are so self-sufficient and smart that you do not get yourself into tricky situations. I felt like I could not trust anyone a lot when I was in Mexico, it felt like a lot of people would just act a certain way because they knew I was foreign, which was glaringly obvious in my case, and then it would turn out that they did not really care about me at all...anyways, shit like that is normal. Just remembewr that stalkers like me are always reading for updates and will be excited to see you when you get back. athalia
PS Great to get two posts in a row after such a dry spell:)
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